random thoughts

there's a point to this...I think

2009-05-12T12:47:00.003-07:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I just don't know how ex's can be friends on Facebook (or in real life, for that matter).

One of my ex's, who I am friends with on Facebook only, is now in a relationship with someone else. On Facebook and everything. The thing is, is that he is also friends with his ex-wife on Facebook.

So he went to NYC on vacation with his current girlfriend. Pictures were posted. And as I was reading the comments on the pictures, his ex-wife commented on how his most recent trip seemed to have better weather.

I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that they are friends and still have a decent relationship when there was a "trust" issue that broke up their marriage, or that they went to NYC on their honeymoon. Who does that? Why wouldn't you go to a beach resort?

again

2009-05-12T11:01:00.002-07:00

Disneyland was pretty freakin' amazing. What better way to turn 30? The pilot and I did 28 hours over two days of Disneyland and California Aventure. We did Space Mountain and the Matterhorn Bobsleds each four times, It's A Small World 3 times and I even got to dance in the parade (one of the cast members saw my "Happy Birthday, Judy" button and pulled me in. The pilot got some great shots of me dancing around that, I'm afraid, will NOT be published.

Then a couple of weeks ago Nicole emailed me and wanted to know if I wanted to come visit and go see Rent in Boston. After working on some logistical issues, the pilot and I are going to vacation. While we are there, Nicole and I are going to see Rent. The men will not be going. Once is enough for the pilot.

The pilot and I met Nicole, and her husband Mark in Mexico on our honeymoon. They got married the same day we did and we went to the Domincan Republic with them last year as a "second honeymoon". Because the pilot and I had such a long trip to the Dominican Republic, we swore the next time we saw them would be somewhere on the West coast. Alas, it is not meant to be. But the next time the pilot and I go on a big vacation, I think we will go to Greece.

The point of this is that I will get to experience the vocals of Mr. Anthony Rapp and Mr. Adam Pascal, and hopefully, this time, Gwen Stewart (Seasons of Love soloist)!

Yay! I cannot tell you how excited I am and from the email I got from Nicole yesterday, how excited she is! Yay!! :)

525,600 minutes...

2009-03-24T11:17:00.003-07:00

This past weekend was so amazing. Saturday morning Lea picked me up and we headed to Gammage in Tempe. We got there around 9 am and promptly began waiting in line for the $20 tickets to the front 2 rows. It was a long, hot, sweaty morning but we got tickets to the 2pm show, and went to have lunch at the Chuckbox. Mmmm....onion rings.

So we got to sit in "the pit", second row, seats 5 & 7. I know when I saw it on Broadway I sat front row center, and that was extraordinary, to see the production at it's original Broadway home...to know the OBC had been here.

This was a dream come true for me. I've been following both Anthony Rapp & Adam Pascal for quite some time, and to see them perform as Mark & Roger (in the roles they originated) was unbelievable. It was hearing the soundtrack come alive for me. And I could almost swear, that I may have caught their eyes, maybe during seasons of love, maybe at other times.

To hear Anthony say, "fuckin' weird" and "mucho masturbation" during Tango Maureen and La Vie Boheme and Adam during One Song Glory and Another Day gave me chills.

Their exhuberance was astonishing. Throwing themselves into character, interacting with the others...And knowing that Anthony's favorite song to perform is "What You Own" gave special meaning to seeing him perform it.

It was even better on Sunday. The pilot and I upgraded our tickets and sat in the fourth row, stage left (on the right side of the audience), and he enjoyed himself. Not as much as me, but it isn't football, or airplane related, after all.

I wasn't able to meet Adam Pascal after all. I'm so glad I took Wednesday afternoon off to meet Anthony. But I was able to get both of their signatures on both a playbill and a poster by donating money to Broadway Cares/Equity Fights Aids. I also got the rest of the casts' autograph.

As a side note, I wonder if they google themselves...because I come up in the search results. (Oh, and speak about them incessantly.)

I'm back to listening to the soundtrack as much as possible. I was so disappointed that the whole experience was over on Sunday I cried. It was much like a wedding - you plan, plan, plan...and then it's over in what seems like 5 minutes. I know I'll be thinking about these experiences for longer than 525,600 minutes.

best week of the year - March version

2009-03-20T10:34:00.003-07:00

The pilot and I were in Denver this past weekend visiting family. We got back on Tuesday afternoon. I was sitting at work on Wednesday morning when Miriam called, who was waiting at the dealership, having her car worked on. She told me that she was watching the news and that Anthony Rapp was going to be signing copies of his book at the Barnes & Noble at Tempe Marketplace that afternoon from 12:30 to 1:30. So, I arranged to take the afternoon off (effectively cutting my work week in half) to go and meet him. There I found bigger Rentheads than I am (difficult to do if you know me). I asked him a question about working with Adam (Pascal) and he looked directly at me.

When I got up for him to sign the paperback version of his book (I already have the hardback), I told him what a dream come true it was for me to meet him. He said something to the effect of "Oh, wow". Super nice guy. We were walking out the same exit, he got into the waiting vehicle (oh yeah, right out of a movie, I think!!) and I said, "have a nice day" and he said "thank you".

Yes, I'm a total nerd. Biggest thrill of my life to speak to an actual celebrity. This might have even meant more to me than meeting George Clooney.

Not to mention the fact that Dan was at his station this morning and both Anthony and Adam were there, and I think he got their autographs/pictures.

Also, Lea and I are going tomorrow to try and get $20 tickets to Rent in the front couple of rows. And then wait by the stage door to meet them, again!

Oh yeah, and I'm taking the pilot on Sunday to see the matinee performance.

Little OCD, perhaps? I think I'm just passionate.

Collide

2009-02-11T12:54:00.003-07:00

Per Lindsey's request, a new post.

I'm consistenly in awe of the fact that music, and the lyrics to the music, can have such a deep & profound effect on us at people. None of what I'm saying here is new, but certain songs remind me of so many things - people, places, feelings.

Here's one that's really haunting me right now...

*********************************************************************************

"Collide", by Howie Day

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

*********************************************************************************

I'm not quite sure why I've been listening to this on repeat on my Ipod for the last few days. Seems like a nice, mellow song that goes perfectly with the coldish weather we've been having lately.

anthony & adam

2009-01-13T12:54:00.003-07:00

So, clearly being a Renthead, I got an email to go back to the Rent site for the US touring site. The pilot and I have got tickets to the performance on March 22. I can't wait!!!! (and I've gotta milk this one, because after seeing the movie, listening to the soundtrack an uber amount of times, and seeing the film of the last performance, this is the last time he is going to be involved in anything Rent related).

The big news of this touring cast is that Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal, both of the OBC (original Broadway cast) will be performing. I love them! Anthony Rapp wrote a book and I have all of their CD's. None of them bootlegged - I would love for them to become more mainstream actor's. As a side note, I can't believe that I still haven't worn out my Rent CD's. I first bought them in the fall of '98. They've gotten quite a bit of play. I have the film soundtrack too, but I think the songs are sort of out of order - see, I've listed to the OBC one too much.

Anyway, I was watching a clip of Anthony Rapp & Adam Pascal performing "What You Own" somewhere in the Eastern half of the United States. They were saying this is probably one of the last times you'd get to see them perform these roles together. Which makes me feel so lucky to have gotten tickets to see them. I'm going to try and see it more than once when they come to Gammage. I think I've seen the musical 7 or 8 times live - it hasn't gotten old yet.

So, for the reason for this post. I had a dream that I was seeing them perform Rent in a particularly small theater (Tick, Tick Boom sized) and I got to talk to them afterwards.

I'm really hoping that I get their autographs, or even to say hello to them. If either of you happens upon this webpage, email me and I would give my right arm to meet you. Please???

Can you not tell I'm a devoted fan? Let's go with devoted and not stalker-ish. For now.

gives you hell

2009-01-13T12:44:00.004-07:00

I've known this for a while, that I'm probably OCD. Having said that, I don't know if it's something I've recently developed (in my 20's) or was born with and my parents never really did anything with.

I saw the video for the All American Rejects song "gives you hell" on the Top 20 Video countdown a while ago and I finally got the opportunity to go get the CD. I would have bought it on ITunes but then I wouldn't have the CD for the car.

Anyway, I love it. I've been listening to it on repeat for awhile and I can't get enough. I'm hoping I don't get burned out by it. Here's a sampling of the lyrics...

If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell

Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where'd it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on

The truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying

Chorus:
When you see my face hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
Hope it gives you hell
Hope it gives you hell

Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can take back your memories
They're no good to me
And here's all your lies
You can look me in the eyes
With the sad, sad look
That you wear so well

{there's more, but I didn't want to post the whole thing - screams of an obsessive 14 year old}

It makes me happy, what can I say?

a tangent

2009-01-08T10:37:00.003-07:00

I've been a member of facebook for a little while know. While I enjoy it, I've found men that I was interested in in the past, and some I'm friends with, and others I'm not. If I was friends with some of them that broke my heart or upset me or I was obssessed with (see my early 20's), I'm afraid I would turn into a stalker. As much as I would like to know how they are miserable beings without me in their lives, it's just not good for my mental sanity. I'm currently friends with my college ex-boyfriend on facebook - and although it's turned out ok, I'm not sure if we are just friends on facebook or we could call one each other up and go see a movie or something.

Not to mention that he used to read this blog (not sure if he still does). And I'm not sure if the pilot would want us to hang out in real life. Wouldn't that be weird and awkward and just, I don't know, like 12 levels of wrong??

As I enter my fourth decade in a little less than 3 months (yikes!!, that sounds scary) I realize that everything that happens does so for a reason. If I hadn't been on JDate, I wouldn't have met so and so, and if we hadn't broken up, I would have never met Jodi and Nikki, and they were with me when I met the pilot. The end. Happily ever after.

I'm feeling reflective and I'm not sure why. Is there a reason I went from talking about facebook to how everything hapens for a reason?

I'll have to think about that.

trying

2009-01-07T16:33:00.003-07:00

I'm trying to come up with something to write about. I've been reading a lot of beauty blogs, but that's not really something I think I could do.

Lindsey sent me a couple of things from cowdepot.com. There's a round jelly dish with a knife with a cow on it; the actual dish also has cows over it. She also sent a cow platter, which is hands down the cutest thing I've seen this year. The pilot is pretty much done with the fact that everyone sends me cow stuff - at some point last year - I think for my birthday - Jodi sent me a cow mousepad - it has the black & white motif going.

Speaking of Jodi, she met someone and is very happy. I'm very happy for her, but I miss her more and more. So when she emailed me about the guy - who better damn treat her right - my first thought was whether he had a green card, so they could get married and live in the states. Because even if she didn't live in Phoenix, it would be so much easier to talk to her, and see her more than once every four years. I have all these grand plans in my head of visiting her in South Africa, but I think the flight would kill me. Literally, I get antsy after just a couple of hours, and I think the pilot would have thrown me out of the plane on the way back from the Domincan Republic via Atlanta if he had had the opportunity.

For now I'm going to try writing here more often - instead of blathering on and on about my personal life, I will try and formulate writing that isn't autobiographical.

Here's to hoping that I can keep this up with all of the other shit going on in my life.

a new beginning, possibly

2009-01-05T19:17:00.003-07:00

It's not that I left the blog world, really. It's more of that I started liking to read more than write. I've found some new blogs, and left others. Some bloggers have said their goodbye's and made me cry.

The pilot and I are settled in our house. We love it - it's crazy how much room we have now. Yesterday we went to Ikea and bought a couple of stools for the island. It's our cozy haven fron the world.

I began and finished the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer's. I think I liked the first and the last one the best. My friend Stacy and I got rear ended in August and I went to physical therapy until November. I made some new friends, and got reacquainted with others.

I'm not so sure I want to share my world with the entire world, so I'm still trying to figure out what I may post about here, in the future. For now, it just feels good to write.

literally, the things that are just flying out of my brain - obviously invisible or the pilot would have to take me to the hospital and commit me

2008-01-27T20:17:00.000-07:00

I literally cannot think of what to write.

I am absolutely dumbfounded that my parents saw Juno and liked it even. I just didn't think it was going to be their type of movie. They seem films even less than I do.

I always thought my mom was a little nuts for rearranging everything in her house as often as my dad will let her, but I've found myself wanting to change the pillows and assorted other things in the house, like the throw we had on the couch that sheds like you think a muppet would (see previous bathmats, from the apartment that we couldn't get rid of soon enogh because they would leave us little presents all over the place)

In honor of my lack of things (coherent things, that is) to say, let's all go here.

525,600 minutes

2008-01-20T20:18:00.000-07:00

Rent is closing on June 1. After 12 years and more than 5,000 performances, the musical I have most closely identified with and enjoyed over the past decade since first discovering it sophomore year in college, will no longer be at the Nederlander theater in NYC. I am so lucky to have been able to see it front row center on Broadway and six other times.

Not that I haven't gotten into other Broadway musicals - Wicked, Tick Tick Boom, and Aida, but Rent has always had a special place in my heart. Maybe it's because I crushed on Adam Pascal, or fell in love with Anthony Rapp's writing (his memoir is a must-read!!!), but there's something there that I can always come back to. It might quite possibly be the fact that I can still recite and sing alone with La Vie Boheme, or my niece chose to play Seasons of Love to identify the pilot and I at her Bat-Mitzvah.

I found out a few days ago, but it's no surprise that I haven't really blogged in 3 months. I'm not sure how willing I am to share details of my life anymore, and it hasn't stopped me from reading other people's blogs, but I will say ranting about the loss of the best muical of the 90's has helped me in some small way.

anniversary #1

2007-10-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

The pilot and I were married a year ago today! Yay us!

We celebrated by exchanging gifts early - I gave him slippers, a bathrobe, and a travel journal, and he gave me a framed quote with artwork. We went to Tucson on Saturday for Avenue Q, which was amazing! Even better in person than the soundtrack. We even got a new mousepad for the house!

I also finally got a U of A sweatshirt, some mesh athletic shorts, and another Arizona hat!

Go WILDCATS!!!! We only lost by 1 point to Stanford. And on family weekend too!

how fast you fly when you really should slow down

2007-10-11T13:13:00.000-07:00

Every year time just goes faster and faster. I think though, as you get older, it should slow down - not that it does - because you learn to appreciate the small things.

I've never had the greatest relationship with my mother - volatile, at best - until recently. She had a stroke 5 years ago and this week we found out she is on the border for needing hearing aids. She's aging quickly, and as I prepare to enter that stage, that is, thinking about when we might want to start trying for babies, I wish time would just slow down just a little, so I could appreciate her more, for both who she is as a person and as a mother.

Which reminds me. When I went to visit my sister and her family in May, I really felt like I got know her a little bit better, as more of a human being than just a sister. It's too bad she's two time zones ahead and in a totally different place in life, because I think we could be friends.

This change of weather makes me nostalgic for a time when every problem I had was easily solvable and all it took to make be feel better was to play with my Barbies or get ice cream with my dad.

2007-10-09T13:19:00.000-07:00

I'm a slacker. The truth is, with so much going on in my life, blogging has fallen to the wayside. We've been so busy packing up the apartment, moving, and trying to set up everything in the house that I haven't felt like telling everyone what was going on. But if I ever get around to it, there was so much house drama I could fill you in on. I don't even know if anyone even reads this anymore...

We are settling into the house and I'm happy to report that the neighbors (except for a loud, barking dog) seem to be very nice. I'm loving the neighborhood and I LOVE LOVE LOVE having a garage and a DVR. It's totally revolutionized my life. No, it really has.

We finally got to open our wedding gifts. I had written and mailed thank you cards, but we had had a Crate & Barrel tower with a Bed, Bath and Beyond peak at the apartment because we had no where else to put it.

I've recently become obsessed with Wicked, the musical. Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth are so damn talented and their voices are AMAZING.

The pilot and I are going to Tucson the weekend before our 1st anniversary - can you believe it's nearly been a year already?? and going to see Avenue Q. I'm also planning on going to the U of A bookstore for some new clothes and I want to go to this tattoo parlor to get my cartilage pierced. And of course, tour the U of A. And maybe get my haircut. Oh, and then we'd need to drive back home that night because the next day I thought it would be nice to go have brunch at the place we got married at, and I have a scrapbooking event that afternoon.

Talk about chaotic.

meltdown

2007-08-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

Buying a house is so much more complicated than I initially thought. That's probably my naivety talking, but until now I didn't know better.

A few things we did at the design center include upgrading the cabinets (from Oak to Maple, I think Oak is FUGLY), from 32" uppers to 36" uppers, and tiling the entire downstairs, along with upgrading the actual tile. We changed the washer & dryer because we wanted front loaders because they are more energy efficient and use tons less water. Oh, and upgraded the carpet padding. Most people we've talked to seem to think that those were good upgrades, but not my dad. Why I still feel the need to have my parents approve of my choices I'm not sure...all I know is that my insomnia and stress level has gone up and my peace of mind has gone down.

Suffice to say, the house is coming along nicely and we are set to close on the 25th of September.

Anyone have any boxes they need to get rid of?

another new first

2007-06-24T09:34:00.001-07:00

So I have car issues. It mostly stems with the fact that I'm very protective of my car. And it's nearly 4 years old. She has nearly 37,000 miles on it.

And because gas is so retardly expensive, I've been reading up on how to minimize gas consumption. One suggestion was to back into a spot. Which I've been scared to do. And like parallel parking, I had never done before.

Not anymore. We went to Bed, Bath and Beyond on Friday night and I backed into a spot. Go me! Not only that, but we had a coupon that was $25 off a $50 purchase. And I had brought a few of my B,B, & B 20% off coupons. So we got to use all of them. So we saved $39 and only spent about $30.

I love a good deal. That, my friends, will never change.

an accomplishment worth noting

2007-06-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm so proud of myself. Why, you ask, and where the hell have I been for the last two and a half months? I'll get to it...eventually, I hope.

I parallel parked for the first time ever. Yes, I've been driving now for 11 years. How the hell have I been driving for eleven years? Time goes SO fast, especially lately.

Okay, so the mandatory quick rundown.

I'm not exactly sure where I left off, but the pilot and I have bought a house. It's 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, two stories and a bit more than 1600 square feet. We're building and it should close in September. Not soon enough. Next month marks 3 years since I moved into this apartment. And living in a less than 800 square feet apartment with another person is getting a teensy bit crowded.

Lindsey is pregnant with a boy. Due sometime in October. She said to me a few days after finding out that she was having a little boy, that it was odd knowing she was growing a little penis inside her. I still find that the funniest thing I've heard in a while. (Sorry Linds, I just had to share that).

Just found out that Miriam is moving to Phoenix - we're hoping for late August. The best part being that we can use her boxes to move all of our stuff. Yay us.

Back to the house. We've been having mortgage issues - not knowing whether to go for an ARM, or a 30 year fixed, or what.

I went to Florida for work training and then visited my sister and her family for a few days over Memorial Day weekend. It was so nice spending time with my sister. For the first time in my adult life, I felt like I was more of an equal than one of those nagging little sisters. It was nice to get to know her as not only as my sister, but as a person.

Went to Michigan for the pilot's grandfather's funeral. He died January 22 but wasn't buried until May because the ground in those parts is frozen.

It's so fucking hot here in Phoenix it's incredible. It was 111 today and it's only the last day of Spring. Tomorrow, the first day of "summer" is supposed to hit 114. But, as people so lovingly remind me, it's a dry heat, it's a dry heat. It doesn't stop it from being fucking hot. And once you live here, you know that it's really unbearable after 110; up to it is not so bad. People at work think I'm crazy because I get cold inside, but it's the damn air conditioning. I hate being so temperature sensitive.

Going scrapbooking this Saturday, slowly but surely getting through the wedding album. We finally picked our pictures and I can't wait to see what the final product looks like.

I'm very disappointed in The Sopranos ending. I know a million and a half things have been written online about it, but I really didn't like the fact it went to black. I think David Chase is a bit pompous for ending it that way. It's not like my opinion really matters.

More to follow, sooner, rather than later. I feel like I didn't really have anything to say during my "hiatus"... things have been happening so quickly I feel like I just needed time to marinate my thoughts. Why I feel like I have to justify taking a break I'll never know. I just feel that I've really gotten to know some people (as much as you can know them via the internet) and they need an explanation.

So there.

oh why, why must I remember every single random date?

2007-03-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

Today (tonight) is the 3 year anniversary of when I met Jarred. I don't want to make it seem like I'm still obsessed with him or anything, and for his (and my) sake I hope he still doesn't read this. Or his evil bitch of a sister. But if you do, there's really nothing I can do. What's in the past is in the past. And I will leave it there. But sometimes I just can't help but think...

I can't believe it's only been 3 years. At times it feels like it was yesterday, but most of the time an entire lifetime has passed and I can't remember the type of person I was back then. As much heartache as I went through when we broke up, our relationship was less than perfect. Not even close. Not to say that it didn't make me grow up and realize what I do want in a relationship, in a partner, but without it I'm not sure where I would be right now. Certainly not in Phoenix, happily married to the pilot.

I'm rambling. Through Jarred, I met Nikki (another crazy ASU student if I've ever met one) and Jodi, and through them I met and realized who I was. And then I met the pilot. The end.

I'm so grateful that the pilot is so emotionally supportive. Jarred could have never handled my eye drama, or put up with my insecure neuroticness, or my family bullshit.

The pilot was going to get me a necklace from Red Envelope that had beshert etched into it. Beshert is a Yiddish word that means "destiny". Red Envelope discontinued the necklace right before it shipped, so I'll never get a chance to see it. But I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason.

thoroughly confused

2007-03-24T14:50:00.000-07:00

I upgraded blogger and now I can't figure out how to get my comments from Haloscan back. I tried to use to the download wizard, but even I'm too dense to get that. I dunno. When I feel like messing around with it again, I will.

What's been happening lately? I had my review at work about a week and half ago, and it went well. It's such a relief now that I've switched companies to feel appreciated and like the people you work with, and for.

I've been scrapbooking a bit more. At some point I will do a wedding album, but my skills aren't to the point where I feel like I can produce a great album, so I'll keep working on it. My problem is that I'm running out of ideas. Jenn said she'd help me, so that's pretty neat-o.

The pilot and I have taken a break from house hunting. See, since the subprime mortgage market took a shit and took the stock market with it, so we decided to have a house-hunting free week, which I think may stretch into a few weeks. See, my birthday is soon (April 3) and I don't want to think about it. It doesn't help that we're using my dad as a realtor and he's busy with tax season. So the house hunting is on hold.

We went to the Melting Pot a couple weeks ago to celebrate the pilot's 30th birthday. It was amazing we didn't roll out of there, I didn't quite know how we consumed that much food. The fondue was fun and the chocolate desert was to die for. We also got massages that day, which was amazing.

Oh, I joined the gym again. I went to Pilates on Wednesday night and it kicked my ass. So much that I'm still sore. Yes, reread that. This is the third day that my legs don't want to listen to my brain. I'm insistent on going again tomorrow, because I need to get back into it. I've been gaining a bit of weight and I'm tired of feeling tired and lethargic. It also doesn't help that we are homebodies and like to hang out together on the couch. I guess getting a dog to walk would be a next good step except the apartment is too small.

What else is new?

What was it like in the old days?

2007-03-13T17:51:00.000-07:00

Do you remember what it was like to be stuck in traffic without having anything else to do besides listen to music? Oops, I mean before cell phones. Now, my beef isn't necessarily with cell phones but with how often they are used.

For instance, who is everyone talking to at 7:30 in the morning? Can it not wait until we get to the office or at night when we get home?

As we become a faster paced society, there seems to be less and less time for any single thing to do. It's come to the point where I feel odd talking on the phone to a friend when I'm at home; I almost feel like I should be multitasking - driving, or doing laundry or the dishes.

Where did all of our free time go? And why do we constantly feel like we need to validate our existence by talking on the phone at all hours of the day (and night?)

Monday, again

2007-03-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm hating the fact that around me, people's lives are moving, changing, progressing, and mine feels stuck. Don't get me wrong, switching jobs and getting married within two months are change enough, but now I just feel like me wheels are spinning around and around, and I'm not going ANYWHERE. So, the question becomes...how do you become unstuck? Without regretting my actions and decisions.

Yesterday the pilot (yes, I decided that it was cooler to have a pilot than a husband, not that they aren't mutually exclusive anymore....I think) and I went to Macy's, to get a down comforter for when we move into this imaginary house that we think is never going to happen. See, when we started getting all our wedding gifts, we decided not to start using them until we moved into a house. So everything is either in storage between our apartment and my parents' house until we find our own abode. I'm not sure why I'm blathering on and on about this, other than that's pretty much all we did yesterday. I've been rediscovering both the mid-morning and the mid-afternoon nap, and can say that I wish our society gave us more time off for us, I guess, a better work/life balance.

Wow, I'm all over the place today. Like my mind can't figure out where to stop leaking.

crisis averted

2007-03-04T16:45:00.000-07:00

I almost fucked the whole thing up. Updating the template, that is. Thank God Blogger has an out and I could revert to my same old, boring template. I'm trying to become more adventurous, I just don't think I can handle that much change in such an itty bitty time.

sense of accomplishment

2007-03-01T19:26:00.000-07:00

My college ex-boyfriend really enjoyed doing crossword puzzles. So much that I started doing the crossword puzzles in the Daily Wildcat. After college, I did the occasional puzzle and then found they made celebrity/film/tv crossword puzzles. So I bought a book.

After college, Sergio moved back into my parents' house (I was also living there, trying to make life decisions) when he started subscribing to the NY Times. I started reading the Arts section, and then I discovered there was a food section. Which makes all the food here in Phoenix sound crappy.

Anyway, I knew there was a crossword puzzle, and I had heard somewhere that they get progressivly harder througout the week. Lo and behold, on Monday I stumbled across a copy of it at work. I never thought I'd get even one clue, but 3 and a half days later I'm only missing a few clues. This list is not exclusive, but if I (or you) could figure it out, PLEASE let me know. I'm so close to finishing

36 Across: Property encumbrances (5 letters)
42 Across: Entities, cited in the Penitential Rite (15 letters)
52 Across: Opposite of neath (3 letters, starts with o)
46 Across: Tipplers (4 letters)
61 Across: Louts (5 letters)
40 Down: Old gold coins (7 letters)
54 Down: x-ray units (4 letters)

Even though I haven't finished it, I still feel a huge sense of accomplishment. Look at how far I've come! How come I can't apply that same thinking in other parts of my life?

minor housekeeping

2007-02-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

I decided to clean up my bloglinks. Some people stopped posting, others I just stopped giving a shit about. But it feels good...now if only I could motivate myself to both blog more and clean the apartment, now that would be something!

caught up

2007-02-27T21:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know how I got so busy that I didn't have time to catch up on the other bloggers out there. Maybe that's why I've been feeling lonely lately, like I don't have a lot of friends to count on. It took me about forty five minutes to catch up on two blogs - Long Story Short and Joe.My.God.

And I can sleep better knowing that I know what's happening with my blog friends. Sad? Possibly? But knowing how I will sleep better? Pretty damn cool.

Also, MAK, I loved your post today.

Boring

2007-02-25T21:13:00.002-07:00

I've only seen Clooney twice so far, and the Oscars have pretty much stunk. Haven't made up my mind as to whether Ellen DeGeneres is a good host or not, but the pilot thinks Jerry Seinfeld should do it.

Do I call him the husband now, or do I stick to the pilot? Can I hear from the cheap seats out there? Bueller?

Damnit

2007-02-25T21:13:00.001-07:00

They made me switch to the new Blogger. So far, uninspired.

the sad, sad plight of my socks

2007-02-25T21:00:00.000-07:00

a tale of two different ways of drying socks.

First off, I'm not sure whether the washer or the dryer eats socks. I haven't been able to verify that, but if I ever do, you can bet I'll either hand wash or lay out to dry. Come to think of it, this whole problem could be avoided by hand washing and laying out to dry all my socks.

Alas, this post is not about that.

When I first starting doing the pilot's laundry when we were in the early months of courtship (which he insisted was a big deal, because since he was 12 he wouldn't let his mother do his laundry), he safety pinned his socks together to make sure that they would come out of the dryer together. Naturally, I thought leaving it all to chance was better.

I'm sad to report that his method is actually the way to go. I've lost a plethora a socks and have had to retire them. God knows if I'll ever see them again, but now I'll never know. They've gone to a better place.

Now, where the hell do I find a stockpile of safety pins?

hello, world

2007-02-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

My absence can be explained by a lack of things to say, or alternately, being so busy and my head being scrambled eggs that I just couldn't get my act together to post.

The pilot's grandfather died on January 23. He had just turned 94. The burial will be in Michigan sometime in May.

I'm feeling somewhat more comfortable at work, but my knowing what I'm doing can only come with time.

We went to go see tick, tick...BOOM last night at the Soul Invictus Gallery last night and I fell in love. It's been so long since I've felt passion towards something. It didn't disappoint. The musical is based on Jonathan Larson's life; the story of a struggling artist, living in New York City, trying to write the Great American Musical before his time runs out. It's especially fitting because the main character, named Jonathan, is turning 30 next week and he is wondering whether he should sell out or continue to write music. The pilot's 30th birthday is the 21st.

We really enjoyed it and would highly reccomend it. Naturally, now I'm on an obsessive hunt to find the soundtrack now.

new year

2007-01-01T20:48:00.000-07:00

happy 2007!

Too much has been going on lately for me to be able to digest and post, but I'm trying to take one day at a time.

a spinoff of someone else's post

2006-12-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

Tunagirl was catching up on her movie's; she recently saw Rent and didn't think it was that great, so this is my defense...

I'll admit it, I'm a Renthead. I've seen Rent seven times live, and although I'm a fan of the film, it's much better in person. I'd urge you to listen to the original Broadway cast soundtrack and see if you have another opinion of it. The most amazing thing for me was sitting front row center on Broadway for $20. The next time you go visit NYC, I'd higly reccomend it. Besides, it's doubtful that anyone will ever see all eight original members performing it again, and the film has 6 of eight. Only the persons playing Mimi & Joanne were different.

That being said, the film isn't perfect. One of the things that pisses me off about the film is that they tried to use Taye Diggs and Rosario Dawson as headliners; although Taye is a wonderful performer, he wasn't in the film enough to serve as a "headliner" and Rosario's performance is decent, but nothing to write home about. They really should have stressed Anthony Rapp and Jesse L. Martin, along with Idina Menzel and Wilson Jermaine Heredia. Their performances were amazing, and if you're looking for a great fucking book to read, I'd suggest going with Anthony Rapp's "Without You".

Apparently I have an opinion about this. :)

can the week just please end already? I want to sleep in

2006-12-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

I have to say I'm really enjoying my work environment. Today was the first day at the new place where I actually started to feel comfortable about what I was saying to people and how I was doing things. Plus, the Chrismakkuh episode of The O.C. is tonight. What's not to enjoy? The first night of Hannukah is tomorrow and so is Sergio's birthday. Next week is Danny's birthday and Mickey & Debbie's anniversary.

I swear, the more family you collect, the more cards you have to send out, the more money you have to spend on birthday presents, etc. I made a spreadsheet today during some of my downtime at work as to who's birthday is when and my only free month is March. Not to mention the fact that Jonathan, Sergio, Danny, Mickey and Debbie, Carley, Mickey and my parents all have either birthdays or anniversary's in November, December and January, PLUS Hannukah.

boy, do I feel loved

2006-12-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

I've been at this blogging thing for a while now. It's a bit harder to find time to blog since I'm incapable of doing it at work and my tv schedule is packed...oh, and the whole spending time with your spouse thing.

Regardless of what else I have going on, I've discovered I'm really nosy. I like ot think of it at really interested in other people's lives, but I'm nosy. The great thing about blogging per se, is that you aren't really forced to disclose anything, but you end up sharing a lot more than you originally thought you would because you feel like no one is reading YOUR blog.

I'm happy to report that some of the blogs I've been reading the longest have added me to their blogrolls. Thanks, MAK, Tunagirl, MzOuiser and Jennie. All of these guys are unique in their own ways, and I feel like I have truly gotten to know them as people, which is strange, because I've never met any of them. Which isn't to say I wouldn't like to. So if any of you are anywhere in Phoenix in the future, let me know because I'm dying to meet a fellow blogger.

The pilot and I went to have sushi tonight. Hard to believe we're coming up on our two year anniversary!

Mrs.

2006-12-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

So, my name has legally changed. I won't publicize it (my new name, that is), because the pilot likes his privacy, and after some of the wackos I've enountered (you know who you are).

I went to social security the day before Thanksgiving. It took half an hour, no more. Piece of cake.

I called all my credit cards. I did it all over the phone.

Until the dreaded DMV. Now, what I don't understand is why government agencies have the worst hours - ever! Social security is open 9-4, Monday-Friday, excluding holidays. I was able to go because I got out of work early that day, which is why I went, but if I hadn't, I would not have been able to go.

The same thing pretty much goes for the DMV. There are some locations (like 3 here in Phoenix) that are actually open on Saturdays. Except they're butt fuck far from where I live. Good thing the pilot and I had planned on going to the Tempe Arts Festival yesterday, so we were only about 12 miles away. It seemed like 50 miles because of the snowbirds, but that's an entirely different rant, and besides, you really don't want to get me started. Trust me.

We showed up at 11:11. I have the little printout they gave me, so I'm positive that's when we arrived. And stupid me, I forgot something to read. So people watching was the only way of amusing ourselves. Thank goodness the pilot was with me, the place we went to was pretty sketchy. Luckily, there was a white woman there who looked more out of place then we did. She was wearing a long sleeve orange shirt and a blue fleece vest with jeans. Anyway, I don't know the last time you were at the DMV, but they have a strange way of making you wait. They give you a combination letter/number when you arrive, and each letter means something different. The numbers go in numerical order. Not only do they have a little billboard thing that updates, but until the person goes up to the window they announce it over the loudspeaker as well as update the billboard thing. But it's totally random and irritating. My "number" was B043. The next B that was announced was 38. So, it would only be a few minutes, right? Until they went through practically all the A's, H's, J's, M's, N's. P's, R's, and just about every other letter out there. Luckily, when they called B043 we had to show the marriage license and my old license, and then wait in yet another line for them to take a picture. My old license was taken right after I turned 21 and I was wearing this cute purple shirt from Old Navy. Anyway, the picture is pretty damn cute. Mind you, I had showered, washed, blow dried, and straightened my hair, and had put a good amount of makeup on. By the time we left the DMV it was about 12:30 and we had needed to go to the pilot's bank for a few things. We got there at 12:55 and made it just in the nick of time. They closed at one. See, we want to consolidate to one bank, but he likes his and I like mine. So, who do you bank with and do you like it or hate it? Any let me know!

All you bloggers out there - what do you think of this new blogger in beta? Worth it? I need some input, please, before I switch and then absolutely hate it.

My happy place

2006-11-30T20:58:00.000-07:00

At the Secrets Capri Riviera Maya close to Playa del Carmen.

The pilot's feet. Besides, hasn't everyone wanted to take a picture like this?

deflated, kind of

2006-11-26T18:43:00.000-07:00

I'm married. One month and four days now.

The wedding was fantastic, the honeymoon relaxing...we got back and I got sick. Bronchitis. I've either been sleeping, or coughing, and we've started house hunting.

I think I'm a bit depressed. For so long it was weddings, weddings, and more weddings...and now what? There isn't any planning to do, I only have a few more thank you notes to write, and I feel somewhat let down.

I will try and post pictures soon. Off to another week of work.

otherwise disposed

2006-10-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

The wedding is one week away.

Everything is coming together. All the bullshit has somehow fallen away, and excitement has taken over. Happiness over having my whole family together again...this time to celebrate one of my life occasions. Instead of Isaac, or Debbie, or Sergio.

Isaac is on his way on Thursday, and everyone else mainly gets here on Friday. Yay for family. You know, even though they drive me crazy, they mean well. Which doesn't mean that it is stress free in any way, but it helps to remember that.

Next time (not that I'm ever doing this again), we're eloping.

So, the wedding is in one week, and we're honeymooning for a week after that.

(Semi) Regularly scheduled blogging will begin again in November. Happy Halloween!

Age is just a number

2006-10-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

Happy 40th birthday, Isaac!

like, you know

2006-10-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

Before heading to bed this evening, I decided to check the computer one more time, in case I had missed something. Lo and behold, my thirteen year old niece was online and IMing me.

That's right, I'm the cool aunt that's worth talking to late at night. Although I must admit my two brother's are pretty bitchin' uncles. I digress.

She spelled your "ur", and said something to the effect of: "i got ur email like seven times"

When did I get so old?

c-h-a-n-g-e

2006-10-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting, folks. I'm doing my best just to take it day by day.

I started a new job on September 5. This is after having Jenny's wedding the last week of August and Miriam's Labor Day weekend (the very next weekend). Needless to say, most of my friends are now (gulp) married. Not that it scares the shit out of me or anything, really.

It's only 19 days away. Yes, the 22. September was my last full single month. Didn't even hit me until the 30th. Yikes! Don't get me wrong, I'm not having second thoughts about the pilot or anything. Just the institution of marriage itself.

So, this new job. Doesn't have good internet access, which is one of the plethora of reasons I haven't posted in nearly a month. But all of the blogs I have read before I have tried to keep up with, in as best capacity I can. Of course, this is all between wanting to throttle the living shit out of some people and writing thank you notes for gifts we've gotten. At least I can say I'm up to date on that. Because I feel like everything else in my life has taken a backseat. For goodness' sake, I almost forgot to pay rent today.

Speaking of living in an 1 bedroom, 1 bath, 800 square foot apartment, with another human being. We're growing out of the apartment and the lease isn't up until April. But have no fear, the elephants who live upstairs have been fucking nearly every morning at 4:30 and again at night around 9 pm. Needless to say, this has been irritating beyond belief. Last week I was one step away from becoming a bridezilla to the apartment manager. If they make one more peep, I'm fighting to get out of my lease...I'm not paying a bloody fortune to not have a comfortable place to spend out of work.

I miss my old commute. On a bad day, it was 25 minutes. Now I have to take the dreaded 51 Southbound to Glendale and fight all the idiots who are also making their way towards downtown.

My office now is in a swanky part of town, near the Biltmore. So more often than not at lunch (since I can't really afford to go out to eat) I tend to walk across the street to the outdoor mall and wander around Macy's or Border's or Banana Republic. Today I made the mistake of walking around the suburban neigborhood with dress shoes on, and I have the blister at the bottom of my left foot. And I've got a zit on my right cheek.

Stress? What stress?

Don't know the meaning of it.

What is wrong with people?

2006-09-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

How fucking hard is it to get an invitation, figure out whether you're going to the event or not, and then send the already addressed and stamped envelope back? I mean really, people.

question

2006-09-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm so far behind on the news and all the magazines I subscribe to that I'll never catch up. Just like the thought that the more you know the more you need to know.

Frankly, it's exhausting.

sleepless near Desert Ridge

2006-09-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

I started a new job yesterday. It was strange, I had been at the other place for 5 years and two weeks. I did make sure that I was vested.

Joe, if you're reading, welcome to the blogworld. I hope you enjoy your stay.

I miss the people at my old work and the commute. I never realized that my twenty two minutes door to door really was a splendid drive. Except for the Cave Creek Mountain, which never got reception from Sprint. In the morning it's between forty and forty five minutes. I'm thinking I should carpool. Any takers?

I haven't been sleeping well. Something about change being in the air, I guess. Between switching jobs, fitting in two weddings in two weekends (Miriam's and Jenny's, if you're counting), and dealing with parental unit stress, on both sides.

The fall tv preview of EW is out! It's the happiest time of the year...I'll probably get around to reading it in about 3 months, after I catch up on everything else. I can't seem to get anything done lately, and the apartment feels and looks like it exploded.

Off to another day of the grind.

Yippee!

2006-08-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

I'm vested! After five years at the same company. Who would have thunk that I'd be here for so long? :)

New(s)

2006-08-16T15:54:00.000-07:00

I have a new nephew. He's about a week and a half old now, and he was 10 pounds, 3 ounces when he was born on Saturday, August 5 at about 9:30 Pacific Time. I've seen bootlegged pictures but no official pictures until Isaac is coherent enough to email them out.

Speaking of Isaac and Becca, happy 5th Anniversary! :) (That would be today)

stranger than dreaming about an ex-boyfriend before you get married

2006-08-16T15:46:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to catch up on all my magazines. So if and when we have any downtime at work I can read and catch up. Yesterday I happened to read the one from about 3 weeks ago with Samuel L. Jackson on the cover.

So naturally, what happened? I dreamt about it and it woke me up, and from that point I was unable to fall back asleep. The pilot wasn't any help, because apparently he didn't sleep well last week and murmered, "hunting bunny rabbits...shh" before rolling over last night.

Now, why couldn't I have been reading the one with Clooney on the cover? Questions, questions.

thought

2006-08-01T12:15:00.000-07:00

I think that the way to really matter, in this world, is to be a an answer in a crossword puzzle.

I've gotten into the habit of doing crossword puzzles; I find it gratifying to finish something.

Is electric blue a color in the Crayola family?

2006-07-26T17:33:00.000-07:00

That night we all met up at Bisonwiches. So, for the count, there was me, Lindsey, Miriam, Jenn, Lauren, and Missy, one of Miriam's oldest friends (and one of her bridesmaids).

I started off slowly, having a apple ale or pear ale or something. Hell, it was over a month ago, so that's really all I remember in terms of what I drank at Bisonwiches. Miriam and I got bachelorette tiaras and we all outfitted ourselves with day-glo jewelery from the dollar store (courtesy of Miriam).

After dinner we headed to the Mill Ave Cue Club. And that's where I preceded to first get drunkity drunk drunk. See, Missy is tall, blond. absolutely beautiful and posesses' an extraordinary talent of being able to talk and/or charm, when necessary, to anyone. And that my friends, is how I ended up drinking about 32 ounces of something called an Adios Motherfucker. I don't know what was in it, but I can remember Lindsey (otherwise known as Sober Ober) egging me on to drink faster.

All six of us piled into Jenn's Corolla to get to Maloney's. That would be four of us in the back, with me all the way on the left, then Lindsey and .... I don't remember. But Jenn was driving. I do remember the possibility of a cop pulling us over and Lindsey shoving me down low so it would look only as if there were 3 people in the backseat. I don't think that particular event helped me later on in the evening, but we still have lots to go over.

So, to follow, is a list of drinks that I had at some point in the evening at Maloney's. I swear, my friends' favorite activities have to include getting me drunk. Apparently I'm endlessly amusing when that happens. In no particular order:

Blow Job (shot)
Lemon Drop (shot)
Fuzzy Navel
some more ale
White Russian

Looking back, I think it was a combination of mixing alcohols and the cream in the White Russian that made me do it. Yes, for the first time ever, I threw up after drinking.

Before throwing up, I was having a grand time hanging out with the girls, resting on their boobs, dancing, and trying to walk in a straight line. When we determined it was time to leave, we went outside to wait for the car. One of the guys we had been hanging out with, a friend of a friend, went across the street and got us some tacos. In the middle of eating one, I suddenly felt a teensy eensy bit nauseaus. So I stopped, and announced that I wasn't feeling so good. I started to dry heave a little bit, and then it came. Three or four waves of vomit. After that I was really dizzy but doing ok. They put me in the front seat with the air blowing on my face, and I don't really remember the ride back except to say that Lauren, Lindsey and Jenn kept thinking I had fallen asleep, but I think it was more I was in and out of consciousnous. We got back to Jenn's house and I went to the bathroom because the cold tile was calling my name - and so I kept asking if someone would call the pilot because I wanted to talk to him. Mind you, this was like 2 am or so...needless to say, I didn't talk to him until the next day. So then Lauren drove Lindsey and I back to the apartment. I don't remember giving Lindsey the keys necessarily but she opened the door and I pretty much collapsed onto the bed. She literally had to take my clothes off and I crawled into bed after swallowing some Tylenol and water. She was such a saint that night, she even stopped me from drunk dialing. It's amazing who's phone numbers you remember when you try...

The next morning I felt like total shit until I had some yogurt and a sandwich at Miriam's bridal shower. Let's just say I felt hungover the rest of that week...and I've vowed never to get that drunk again.

How much sugar is in a marshmellow, anyway?

2006-07-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

Hello again.

All of last week was spent recovering from the bachelorette party on June 24. SO. MUCH. FUN. And last night (or early this morning, but I'll get to that in a bit) I had a dream and Lindsey was in it. Usually I don't dream about her, but I did! Ok, maybe we spend a bit too much time on the phone.

The bridal shower was attended by my mom, the pilot's mom, Lindsey, Miriam, Jenn, Lauren, and the pilot's brother's new fiance. We had yummy Greek food and played a game in which I almost wanted to call the pilot and strangle him through the phone. Lindsey, being the sneaky devil she is, called the pilot and asked him a bunch of questions that I was then supposed to answer. Out of 39 questions I got 25 of them right. The original plan was for me to chew a piece of gum for every answer I got wrong until I...I dunno. Plan B was for me to stuff marshmellows into my mouth; what they had not considered was that I have a gag reflex and I almost threw up. I ended up eating one marshmellow for every answer I got wrong. So you can just imagine the sugar high I had that afternoon.

I opened my gifts and we ate and cake cookie cake and then we were off to relax before going to Bisonwiches that evening. I tried to nap but the aforementioned 14 marshmellows didn't help at all.

I'll tell ya'll about the bachelorette party but it's nap time.

we really can't get any more disgustingly cute, now can we?

2006-06-23T16:10:00.000-07:00

Going over the 83 different things I had to do before picking up Linds from the airport with the pilot, I told him I had to deposit two checks my mother had given me. He told me that he could do that at lunch today.

Isn't that what the men of the household used to do? Or is my thinking completely antiquated?

again...and again...and again

2006-06-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

I was talking to some friends at work the other day and I realized I may be slightly obsessive compulsive. What, you say? A few examples, since nearly all of you that read this don't talk to me day in and day out (okay, maybe Lindsey, but she lives somewhere else) .

I've always got to make sure the alarm has beeped at least twice when I lock the car and the headlights light up for a second after I get to work and when I get home walking into the apartment.

I get grumpy if I don't follow the same routine. I always put in the left contact lens before the right lens. I have to make sure the door is locked after I leave; half the time I leave the apartment thinking that it's open and anyone could walk in and take what they want.

And I've been obsessively checking the registries seeing what has been disappearing off of them. I've talked to a few more brides (past and present) and they assure me this is normal.

So when do I cross the line into OCD?

mmm...food

2006-06-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

After a busy day of running errands, not to mention naptime, the pilot and I decided to have a quiet evening at home on Saturday night.

What we had for dinner: cucumber, tomato, spinach and feta salad. Salmon, marinated in Asian Sesame sauce, with rice pilaf and sauteed garlic asparagus, with red pepper and mango garnish.

Damn, what a good dinner it was.

a private moment

2006-06-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

My bridal shower is next weekend. It seems like it took forever to get here but at the same time it's been a long time coming. Not really; I've only been engaged since November. Not that I've been dreaming of this whole getting married process since I was about 5, which seems to be pretty standard, from what I hear.

Jacqueline, Miriam and I planned Lindsey's shower, which was in February. Since Miriam and are getting married within two months of one another, we decided to do both of our showers and our joint bachelorette party in one weekend - yes, that's right, the girls weekend that I've been alluding to is next weekend.

Enough about the actual weekend; I don't know much about the shower, I'm just excited that I'm getting my haircut next week, my eyebrows waxed (yay!) and that I get to see my friends.

I do have to mention the beautiful invitations they sent out. I made Lindsey send me one for memory reasons, and I love it. I'ts one of the prettiest invitations I've ever seen, and more than one person has told me that.

When I opened it, I started to cry, just a little. My friends are so amazing and have put so much time into it. So before I say my private thank you's (and start to cry, for a change), I wanted to thank you publicly.

Thank you girls - you've made the wedding planning process actual fun!

Which way is up?

2006-06-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

Happy 3rd Birthday Tobi! Your birthday was yesterday but I didn't really have time to post anything.

Speaking of your birthday, this time of year I always think of where I was when you were born. I was traveling for work, and the week you were born I was in Arkansaw with a bad cold. I came back that Friday and did laundry.

Saturday morning I flew to Los Angeles to spend time with Jenny and go to the Matchbox Twenty concert at the Staples Center. Sunday I flew from LA to Oakland to spend the night, because Monday was the briss.

Monday night I flew back to LA for business and Tuesday and Wednesday I worked. Wednesday afternoon I flew to Oklahoma City and worked Thursday and Friday, only to return to Phoenix on Friday.

I was't busy or anything that week - really!

I've been waiting all week for Saturday

2006-06-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted, but I haven't really had anything to say.

My parents went on a cruise with my niece to the caribbean and I missed them more than I thought I would. The pilot and I booked the honeymoon (and no, I'm not telling the free world where we are going, even though I think there are all three of you that still read this).

So, hello Lindsey and Dave. You guys have been married a lil' over two months now...time flies when it gets hot now, doesn't it? j/k! I can't quite believe that Miriam is in a little less than 3 months from now. The pilot and I are about 4 1/2 months! Yay!

Because it's somehow in the water, the pilot's brother also got engaged to a girl a little over a week ago, but they are waiting until after we get married. Thank God, we're booked until the end of the year. Seriously, something must be in the water.

I've been looking over some of my blog posts and I realized that I've been using "..." a lot. So I'm going to attempt to become a better writer and use "..." less.

The next Mastercard Ad

2006-05-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

Waking up at 3:45 am to take your dad to the airport...That's what you call a good, exhuasted daughter.

...at work a few hours later...

[My company has a combination mailroom/kitchen.]

Trying to put an envelope into the refrigerator?

Priceless.

2006-05-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

So I've been at work for an hour and have looked through all the usual websites already.

Sigh.

So, the big girls' weekend is one month from today. 28 days. Yeehaw!

So, we'll have my shower, Miriam's shower and the bachelorette party. I'm a bit sad that Jenny, my best friend since I was 10, won't be able to come, but I can't go to hers either. Weekend of July 8 in LA. But I'm so excited to go to LA for her wedding the weekend before Labor Day - and the pilot and I will go to Cupid's Hot Dogs, Bea's Bakery, and drive down Ventura Blvd. I swear I'm the only person I've ever met that actually likes driving in LA. I can't believe it's been almost a year and a half since I've been there.

The pilot and I had hit a rough patch a few weeks ago but I'm happy to report that we're just as disgustingly cute as ever these days. A few days ago he came back after getting the mail and his name was also on the mailbox. I guess he's gotten enough mail now so the post office put it in there. I wonder if that's legal? Silly mail.

Yesterday at work I tried to make popcorn. I burned it and my co-workers spent the rest of the afternoon (and part of this morning) making fun of me. One of the other girls even showed me how to make it. Well, what do you want? I followed the directions and I was wrong!

Speaking of food, do you remember when you could get a happy meal for $1.99? Ah, the good ol' days.

post #502

2006-05-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Finally - some good news. The pilot got an offer on his condo! Closing isn't until June 15, but yay!

Apparently shower plans are coming along nicely. But I couldn't really tell you, since no one is telling me anything! But I will say I am a sucker for surprise.

Funny - Lindsey's going a little nuts - I only have to plan Miriam's; Miriam only has to plan mine; but Lindsey has to plan both. Not to mention that she (apparently) still has tons of thank you cards to write and has to jump through 27 different hoops to change her name.

I find it very interesting that Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills are breaking up. Without a prenup. And even more bizarre is that they are blaming it on the media attention. I don't get it - Macca has been living with constant media attention since about 1963 - and you should know if you're getting involved with a Beatle - you're going to become part of that.

Why are more and more people getting divorced? Are we really that much of a disposable society? And in Paul's case, what really went wrong??

a different way

2006-05-16T15:38:00.000-07:00

I went to a scrapbooking party this weekend. It made me realize that I miss the creative stuff in my life. Working at a computer can be creative but I don't do anything like that. I wonder what I would be good at...like, job or career wise.

Then I started thinking that it would have been better if I had studied with a specific career in mind, like engineering, or accounting. Not that the math requirements would have kicked my ass, considering that I took college algebra twice and barely even passed that second time. But at least I passed.

I've felt like a wandering soul lately, not really knowing what my place is in the world. I fulfill so many roles - daughter, sister, fiance, friend, co-worker, citizen of the world, proud Democrat - that I sometimes wonder what I'd be like if I was just me - without any of the labels.

what you're willing to do for family

2006-05-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

A while ago I had asked Isaac, my oldest brother, if he'd wear a tux to the wedding. Before I go on, Isaac is notoriously the most casual in the family - after all, he does live in the Bay area.

Every time I had brought up the tux information with my parents, or Debbie and Sergio, they had asked me if Isaac was really going to wear one - seeing as it's so uncharacteristic for him.

A couple nights ago, we were catching up and I was telling him that we had recently decided how the men would be dressing for the wedding.

me: "So Isaac, you'll wear a tux, right?"
him: "I told you I'd wear one?"
me: "yes."
him: "was I drunk?"
me: "no ... but you'd do this for me, right?"
him: "probably"

Sergio, on the other hand, actually owns his own tuxedo. Amazing how different two brothers can be, huh?

my new love - and no, it's not a type of cheese

2006-05-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

As an avid tv watcher, I've been obsessively watching this past season of The West Wing. And even though I usually have to ask the pilot about the plot and the relationships between the characters, I can't think of a show I've enjoyed more this past year - except maybe Everwood.

In reading this past week's issue of Entertainment Weekly, there are a few different quotes that I've enjoyed perusing - thought I'd share them with the masses - does anyone still read this?

Sam Seaborn:
"I'm a nice guy having a bad day...As we speak, the Coast Guard are fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the governer of Florida wants to blockade the port of Miami, a good friend of mine's about to get fired for going on television and making sense, and it turns out that I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night."

Toby Ziegler:
"I'm gonna make a suggestion which might help you out, but I don't want this gesture to be mistaken for an indication that I like you."

Leo McGary (the late John Spencer):
"17-across is wrong. You're spelling his name wrong. What's my name? My name doesn't matter. I'm just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation, and I'm telling you that I've met the man twice and I've recommended a preemptive Exocet missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how to... They hang up on me every time."

and Friday afternoon rolls around...finally

2006-05-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

We found a photographer! And I'm really tired. That's all that's really new around here. An it's getting hot! But another girls' weekend will be here before I know it - with my shower that Lindsey's throwing (with my mom), Miriam's brunch the next day and our joint bachelorette party that Saturday night! I can't wait!

Okay, so maybe some stuff has happened. I'm still exhausted from my kidney brou-haha of last week. But at least it's May.

And I know it's a day early, but happy birthday Lindsey! :)

anyone up for some chianti?

2006-04-28T15:41:00.000-07:00

A thousand pardons to anyone who reads this and has been wondering why I fell off the planet and am now just reemerging.

I don't remember what happened last weekend but it was busy - for a change, so I didn't write.

On Monday morning I woke up with a fever and a pain in my right stomach area. After much ballyhoo, I ended up in the ER (isn't that a word that was used in Good Will Hunting?). Sadly, Dr. Ross (aka George Clooney - as if you didn't know!) wasn't in and I was forced to wait around for 3 hours in a waiting room feeling like I was going to die. In between hours 2 and 3, someone came to draw 3 huge vials of blood and I honestly cannot remember it hurting like it did.

They finally took me back to an available bed and I saw an actual doctor - Dr. Wood. Ha like Doc Hollywood but not! Okay, slightly loopy.

They wouldn't let me have any water or anything to eat because it could have been my appendix, except for about 24 ounces of some crap that I can best describe as expired Tang. This was so I could have a CT Scan and my intestines be highlighted. The test didn't hurt, but that stuff tasted like crap. They did give me some morphine to help with the pain and start me on antibiatics for a kidney infection, which is what I have. I was discharged a short while later and given a prescription for 10 days of antibiotics as well as Percoset, also known as Lindsey's drug of choice. I stayed home for two days and found a really funny commercial that has animated mucus in someone's nose. When the pilot was watching tv and we caught this commercial together, I told him that I thought the dancing mucus was cute, and then he said that I had dancing mucus (I guess bacteria would be a better word) in my kidneys...which puts it all back into perspective.

my first time and bobby pins

2006-04-18T11:33:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about the first time I had sushi, but not only do I think I've already blogged about it, but I'm not about to go through the 495 other posts I've written to find it to not have a duplicate subject post. [Wow that was a long sentence]. And so much else has happened since I last posted, I'm not sure where to begin.

The weekend in Vegas was so much fun - and now Lindsey's married! Ahh!! She comes back from her honeymoon today, and I will admit it's been a bit odd around here without talking to her - usually I don't go more than 36 hours, but nine days? It's been quite a while since we've not talked for that long.

I just realized that each sentence so far has its' own paragraph. I don't do that intentionally, although I suppose that when I'm blogging it's really just my internal monologue taking over the keyboard.

The wedding weekend was pretty cool - got to see some old college friends - Jeff and Molly - and Miriam and Cody - and Sean - and Heather, who I don't really remember but was a lot of fun to be around. We all got our hair done - the girls, that is - and by the end of the reception, I started taking out all the bobby pins my head hurt so much. There must have been a ton in there - I think both Miriam and Molly had more than 60. And when I took it out of the bobbyy pins, I had curlier hair than I've ever had in my life. So at least now I know that my hair is capable of doing more than just being put in a ponytail. And I made the pilot take some pictures of it for future reference - it may or may not come in handy.

I've been recuperating from the lack of sleep since then and had a good time at the Passover seder we went to on Thursday night with some friends - although it lasted until 11:30 and I had to be at work at 7 the next morning. Passover will be over on Thursday night - thank goodness - and I'm hoping for some sushi this weekend. It was around two years ago that I tried sushi for the first time at the Ra in Old Scottsdale. I think that first time I had some California rolls and possibly a Philly roll. Mmmm...rice! Of course now when I can't have it is when I'm craving it. And I honestly can't stop thinking about the sushi restaurant at the Las Vegas Hilton I went to a couple years ago - so yummy. I'd say it would be easy to get back there, but if I'm visiting the newly married couple, neither of them likes sushi - so that's out - unless the pilot and I venture out.

Yep, that's me. Perpetually hungry for food I can't possibly eat.

a day appropriate thought

2006-04-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to me! #27

I'm re-reading "The Mailroom: Hollywood History From the Ground Up", which I bought a couple of years ago after it came out in paperback. I don't often re-read books, but I felt like it and I'm glad I have.

Sam Haskell:
"I believe, philosophywise, in the following: We spend the first couple of decades of our lives trying to figure out who the hell we are. Some people never find out. They keep searching and searching and searching. Or they'll be different people with everyone. Never any consistent presenation of who they are. But if we can realize by our mid-twenties who we are, we have to ask ourselves this question: Do we like who we are? If the answer is yes, then we should spend the rest of our lives maintaining who we are.
If you think about it, it's that maintenance of self that is constantly attacked, challenged, or compromised on a day-to-day basis--not just in the business, but in life. It's what givges you the hills and valleys. But if you can maintain who you are, then you become a magnet of consistency to which all the inconsistent elements spinning around in your little hemisphere are drawn. Those elements--the clients, people in the office, your family--want to know who they are. Your consistency can bring the same to their lives, and if it does, they're going to want to stick with you."

I like that. Just thought I'd share for the other directionless twenty-somethings out there. :)

what's in a name, anyway?

2006-04-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

At dinner the other night with some friends, we got into a discussion about changing your last name once you get married. [The pilot and I were with a married couple and a single guy]

The other woman and I were saying that changing your name is a difficult, and often bittersweet decision to contend with. Not only are you part of a new entity, but to change your name - the one thing you can control, in terms of reputation and identity, I think, is a bit daunting.

I know - not personally, but in the terms of greater society, that couples combine both people's last names, take her last name, or make up an entirely new last name. My own sister-n-law didn't change her name - and it just seems odd to me. Not right or wrong, just different. Something that I never thought I would do. And I don't think I will, I've just never thought like that.

What I think I may do is use my last name as my middle name, since I currently do not possess one. In Mexico you don't get a middle name, because...well, I'm not quite sure, but that's why I don't have one - is because I was born there. And when you get married you are known as your husbands' name but you kind of get to attach your old last name at the end...anyway...

Even using my current last name as my middle name is totally changing my identity. I'm not quite sure why the guys didn't seem to understand this, but they don't really have to deal with it. Their identities don't really change, they just get married. [I know you're thinking of a ball and chain joke - go right ahead, I don't care - not all relationships are like that.]

But men, what you generally fail to notice is that in changing our names, we have to leave the person we are behind. It's like we're joining someone else's family and have rejected our own. And doing that seems scary...and exciting.

Another thing that I have jumbled emotions about in regards to getting married. It seems like there are more and more of those every day now. And we're still 6+ months out!

epiphany

2006-03-24T11:49:00.000-07:00

I think I've got it - I miss the drama in my life. Although that brought on stress and insomnia - I'm stressed now and can't sleep anyways, but for different reasons.

swirling around in my head

2006-03-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

The pilot's car is on its' last legs. I still have a little less than 2 and a half years left on my car loan, and I wouldn't trade her for the world, but we're getting ready to buy a house and this whole car taking a shit on him was not in the plans...so now we have to think about replacing his car - the $64,000 sheckel question is: do we get another (presumably crappy) car or do we just bite the dust and get a new one?

That was a really long, run on thought. But that's the way I think and this mind dumping hopefully will help my mental status. I feel stuck. Like everyone is going forward at regular speed but because I'm in super slow motion it feels like they're going 15 times faster than me.

I'm going to Ikea this weekend and finalizing the invitation details.

It's almost like since I started planning the wedding my brain doesn't have room for thoughts about other things - hence the lack of blogging. But now I want to talk about other things and I can't figure out what to talk about.

I'm hoping Vegas gives me fodder for some stories...but at least now April is right around the corner...before I know it the year will be over...and I will be reflecting on all of the changes around me, to me. Maybe it's not the fact that things are changing; I just need to accept that things will always change and I need to have a positive outlook on it.

Alive

2006-03-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

Life has been relatively boring the past few days. I'm feeling restless, for a change. I want to shake things up, I just don't know how.

I've felt lately that I don't really have anything to say...so instead of spouting total BS, I'm going take a break from blogging for a few days - let's see where that leaves me.

2006-03-10T14:27:00.000-07:00

Another week has gone by. Thank God!

I'd been having trouble sleeping from Sunday night to yesterday morning; especially Wednesday night, where I maybe slept for 5 hours. Last night I decided to utilize my Tylenol PM...and I successfully slept, without interruption, from about ten to six thirty this morning. Wait - let me clarify. I woke up several times during the night, but I always fell right back asleep. Not that the entire blogging community cares one way or the other, but I'm so glad I got some sleep - I had that whole cranky thing going on yesterday.

Today is the anniversary of my grandma's death. I can't believe it's been a whole year.

Lindsey is getting married in less than a month.

Why do things have to change?

shoulda, woulda, coulda

2006-03-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I may as well temporarily rename the blog 'obsessed with Clooney' or something like that...but this whole charisma discussion has really got me thinking. Plus, I haven't slept well in like four or five days, so that's probably adding to my delusions.

With charisma, I believe, comes the ability to schmooze, to bullshit with people. In Hollywood, you have to stay connected, have your own network of people to call for information. Essentially, this is schmoozing and possibly why I wouldn't make it in LA. I mean, there's other things that are keeping me from up and moving to LA, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

I've never been good at it. That is to say, I don't think I'm not charasmatic - (I can be when I want to be) - but I don't see the point of spending time with people you wouldn't ordinarily spend time with or schmoozing with them. I'd rather be on the couch reading or watching tv. In discussing this with the pilot, he said that I'm not a schmoozer, and I asked him why he thought this. He said, "I know you...you just aren't".

I don't like beating around the bush. I like to get straight to the point. In some ways my thinking is very black and white. Which is why being an adult and having so many choices, so many shades of gray to choose from, becomes so difficult.

I don't think you should have to be able to schmooze to get ahead in life. Unfortunately, our society has chosen that as an important quality in power players, and I just can't figure out how to work around the fact I'm not a schmoozer. I'm a good person and work hard but apparently it's not working for me. So why should I have to change how I act socially just to get ahead? Isn't working hard and being ethical enough?

more thoughts on the Academy Awards

2006-03-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I'm obsessed with Clooney. He's just so damn gorgeous, and he seems so nice to everyone. I even sat through Solaris. Now that's devotion, people. He always seems to be a good mood and actually cares about the world. Even a little grey hair can't make him any less sexy.

But in watching one of the post-Oscar tv shows yesterday, or maybe even on Good Morning America, said that he's got good old-fashioned charisma. I think that's something that's apparent in Hollywood these days -- that is, the lack of presence celebrities have.

Charisma is something you can't learn - you either are or you aren't.

I'm just not sure why some people have it and some don't.

What makes you charasmatic?

And please, just stop for a moment and look at him. Isn't he fucking gorgeous?

2006-03-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

The Academy Awards are my Superbowl. I like watching the Emmy's, even the Golden Globes, but the Oscars always seem to reign supreme. And this year I had to watch for George.

2006-03-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

I've lost all patience today for being nice to people. Maybe I should go hibernate or something.

2006-03-03T11:23:00.000-07:00

one month until my birthday! :)

twiglight zone 2.0

2006-03-03T11:22:00.000-07:00

Had another bizarre dream last night...that I met my other ex for lunch at a really nice Subway that I've never been to.

Sorry Republicans - you won't like this post

2006-03-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

I really think President Bush is a moron. Which is why I've liked visiting Joe to see what he has to say. And I just had to put the banner up.

People think Clinton was bad for the United States? Total and utter bullshit. At least our domestic issues were under control. Bush is like an uncontrollable baby. He's manipulated by others and doesn't seem to give a shit about the country he's actually supposed to be governing.

does anyone smell steak?

2006-03-02T11:52:00.000-07:00

I'm bored.

Entertainment isn't interesting anymore - except for George Clooney - and I can't think of anything to blog about when I'm in front of the computer - only when I'm driving...paying attention to something else.

I did, however, have a pretty amazing dinner last night. The pilot works a condensed work week and yesterday was his day off. He had dinner almost ready when I got home last night.

Shrimp cocktail. Salad with blue cheese crumbles. Rice. And steak with blue cheese crumbles on the top. With ice cream for desert. It was so good. If only we would have the motivation to cook like that every night - now that would be something! And leftover lunches would be even better!

We have, however, become huge fans of cheese. Feta, Blue cheese, muenster, provolone, swiss. String cheese. All in the refrigerator. You'd think we were cheese snobs or something.

The pilot does look out for me - he's always slicing veggies as appetizers, or making sure I brush my teeth before bed. Now that's love. Plus, he's cleaned up my vomit. What more could I want?

2006-03-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

I need a manicure.

Last weekend I was putting something in the oven and burned my hand. It hurts and looks icky.

Nothing else to say. I want to go home and spend time with the pilot.

2006-03-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

Being in customer service, you talk to all kinds of people.

After a hard, long day yesterday, Kristen had the best line:

"I'm all out of nice today".

reading

2006-02-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

I get into this cycle where I have so many magazines to read I won't pick up a book. And then I'll randomly look at a book and start to read it. I'm one of those people that cannot read more than one book at a time. More than one magazine, yes. Not books. The other thing with reading is that I find it stupid to buy books, because I read them so quickly. If I'm really into one, I can finish it in 2 or 3 days. Everyone has always been amazed by this. Me, not so much. This started back in elementary school and when I began reading the Baby-Sitters Club. And then we got into Sweet Valley High. Jenny would always buy them...sometimes she'd let me read them first and others she would begin reading and then pass off to me.

The catch is, is that this only happens once in a blue moon. I can't help it - I subscribe to Entertainment Weekly, Glamour and Self. Not to mention that I get a couple issues of the Arizona Alumni Magazine annually. And I've been perusing these bridal magazines, which is more advertising than anything else, for awhile. Last year for my birthday I got The Unthinkable Thoughts of Jacob Green by Joshua Braff. I've read his blog off and on but he doesn't update often. And it sat on my bookshelf, collecting dust, until I decided to pick it up last week and bring it with me in case I had any downtime, ever. Surprise, surprise, I did have downtime and I finished it in 3 days. Pretty good book. So I bought one - a hardcover - and finished that in two days. Very rarely do I buy hardcover books, if ever, because they are so expensive, but I do believe in supporting people and things I am passionate about, because they come across so rarely.

I bought Without You by Anthony Rapp. He played Mark Cohen in the original Broadway cast and reprised his role in the movie, which just came out on DVD. Which I went to go get yesterday, right after work. If you are fan of Rent, or a fan of anything remotely related to musical theater, it would be a great book to read. Not only does he give you details into Rent that I wasn't aware of, but his writing makes you feel like you're right next to him. A gripping memoir about balancing work and life and dealing with losing a loved one. It made me cry more than once and laugh. A definite must-read on my list. So what are you waiting for? Go get it!

yay Rent!

2006-02-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

go read this. now. Written by one of my most favorite Broadway actors. I got it on Saturday and am in the middle of it. And tomorrow, the movie comes out on DVD!

2006-02-20T10:11:00.000-07:00

I'd rather be sleeping...but I'm at work. Getting time and a half...but still...I'd rather be sleeping.

Weekends don't seem like weekends anymore. Fun - what's the meaning of the word? Saturdays and Sundays are for running errands, painting condos, getting and sorting the mail, cutting the coupons to save money because everything has gotten so damn expensive.

Which brings me to...are we working to live or living to work? At this particular moment in time, I'm not so sure.

I've really missed my parents and the rest of the family this weekend. Not that I couldn't have gone over to my parents to call them - see, I don' t have long distance on my home phone - because everyone I usually talk to I can call through my cell phone - but I can't call Mexico - they'd charge me an arm & a leg. Maybe half a nose, too. The point is that I was a bit lonely this weekend. That'll soon be over - I'm picking up the parental units later at the airport and everyone will be back to their usual insanities tomorrow morning.

Lots of birthdays this week: the pilot turns 29 tomorrow, Becca's birthday is on Thursday and my mom's is on Friday. At least birthday presents are all taken care of. One less thing to worry about.

parallel universe - in the Twilight Zone

2006-02-17T12:27:00.000-07:00

Weird. Right before I woke up, I had a dream (no, not that kind of dream) - or is it more of a nightmare? that I wasn't engaged to the pilot, but to my ex-boyfriend who shall remain nameless. Now, both of my ex-boyfriends have read this blog at some point...

Take this entire post with a grain of salt, ok?

In the dream I was at a big fancy party with waiters passing around appetizers. I remember feeling frustrated and slightly ignored because my fiance was doing other things and ashamed to tell people we were engaged.

That's pretty much all I remember.

Did I have this dream because I still have unresolved issues with him treating me the way he did, and letting myself stay in the relationship? Or was it just random because weddings are the theme of the year?

All is well and good with the pilot. He's exhausted. I'm exhausted. Wedding planning is exhausting. Can we just get married already?

Gone

2006-02-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

My maternal grandmother died last year and the rest of my family went to Mexico for the unveiling of the tomb. I was going to go but no one could get me from the airport and it was easier to stay here. Still, it's never happened that my mom, dad, two brothers and my sister have left the country without me. When she passed away last year, I went to the funeral and all of us were there for at least 24 hours.

I digress.

I can't believe it's been almost a year since she passed away. Sometimes I totally forget and other times it's all I can think about. I cried so hard at the funeral I was shaking. It was the first funeral I had ever gone to and I was mentally and emotionally unprepared for the whole experience. Granted, I had never been to a funeral, so that's gotta count for something, right?

I know if I need to get ahold of my parents I can call them from their house or call collect, or I can have my brother-n-law try to get ahold of them. He's good with stuff like that.

I'm just so sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to her. My family life in Mexico is all mixed up - extended family, that is - and I don't know when I will be able to go see the tombstone. That tears me up inside.

I can't believe she's gone.

yummy...

2006-02-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

Last night was pretty damn amazing for a holiday created by a corporation.

Picture it: candles, food, romantic music. He brought flowers and a card, with a gift certificate for a massage that he scheduled for tomorrow after work.

And we did just what I wanted. Talked, snuggled, laughed. And didn't talk about the wedding. At all. I think that that was one of the best parts about it all.

Sigh. I guess I am a sucker for Valentine's Day.

[Edit: The food was amazing. Salad was yummy. Chicken parmesan cooked thoroghly. Brownies good.]

I love food.

aww

2006-02-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

I decided that even though Valentine's Day is a Hallmark holiday, I would make the pilot dinner tonight. Right before I woke up this morning, I realized I was hugging this:

Apparently, right before he left, the pilot made sure I was hugging him. Except for whatever reason I've yet to determine, I woke up snuggling with his rear end, not his face. Still, it was so cute.

Last year I got the 2005 version of the teddy bear and flowers. I'm hoping just to have a quiet evening in tonight, snuggling with Teddy Bear v. 2006 and with the pilot.

So I got up early and made dinner for tonight - spinach, tomato and feta salad, chicken parmesan and rotini pasta. With brownies for desert.

I love Valentine's Day. Or is it that I just love the person I'm with on Valentine's Day?

Bueller....Bueller

2006-02-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else as tired as I am about hearing all about Brokeback Mountain??

From this week's Entertainment Weekly, I get the feeling they are in cahoots together. Ick. A magazine and a film mating? Not that that could ever happen...but still. Gross visual.

---------->

2006-02-09T15:27:00.000-07:00

I wish something would change. Not that I'm going through a lot of change - only moving, buying a house, getting married and possibly finding out what I really want to be this year.

I've been thinking of people I used to spend time with lately...and my life seems kind of empty without them. I told these people my hopes, dreams, shared my life with them. It just seems strange to be without them. Although I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for those very people. And this isn't necessarily about one person...possibly a culmination of all the relationships I've had with people in the past.

[Sorry. I'm rambling. Deal with it; I'm entitled to a post like this once in a while]

On Good Morning America this week (yes, I started watching it instead of the Today Show. Katie Couric was starting to bug me - and ABC isn't as evil as I thought it was...anyway) one of the segments was about friendship. How to end one gracefully. It said that the best way to do it is to say that your life is moving in a different direction and say that it's too much to be in a relationship with them at the moment.

How do you tell someone that they've changed so much that you don't know if you want to be friends with them? You could take a break, and stop talking to them. Maybe distance is the solution...but I guess I just answered my own question.

It's miraculous that some of our friends stick around and some of them just vanish into thin air - and the really frustrating part of the whole thing is that you never know which of the categories people you meet will fall into.

others

2006-02-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Over the time I've been blogging, I've started reading other people's thoughts. There's something incredibly compeling about what others think and feel. Some of the blogs, however, have gone by the wayside. People will stop posting or I will stop caring what they think...and so off they go, to a blog heaven - or hell. At that point, I could care less about what happens and I will try to find other blogs to read. And I've found one way of finding other blogs is to trust the instincts of people you find satisfying reads from and check out their must read blogs. I have found a few this way. And then there are the ones you begin to read but lost interest in right way.

I have some amazing blogs to read...but I need to find others. Any suggestions?

...still..

2006-02-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Today has gone by so incredibly slowly. And I'm here for another 53 minutes :(

Do you realize how hard it is to sit in a chair for 8 hours when your mind isn't occupied?

2006-02-07T12:31:00.000-07:00

I've updated some of the blogs I read; check out some of the new ones. And don't forget to Save Everwood!

...and we're back!

2006-02-07T11:45:00.000-07:00

Now broadcasting in 43 different languages!

uh-oh

2006-02-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

random thoughts is having some technical difficulties.

stand by...

girls just want to have fun

2006-02-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

ahh...the weekend I had been waiting for has come, gotten drunk, and gone. I pretty much abandoned the pilot this weekend and thrust him into being single for two days while I did my MOH and bride duties.

Friday night was low-key, but great. I arrived at the family compound and caught up with everyone...saw the bridesmaid dress, pranced around, had dinner. Got stir crazy and decided to go get coffee. Now by this time it was around 9:30 and I wanted Dunkin' Donuts coffee. Lindsey and I got the opportunity to talk face-to-face, which doesn't happen nearly enough. And when you're used to talking to someone on the phone constantly, the dynamics change when you are with them. I made the mistake of getting a large coffee and some ice cream, which would explain the difficulty getting to sleep when I finally made it home around midnight. When I did get home, I tried to clean up the apartment and do laundry. Which is the other reason I had so much trouble getting to sleep - the dryer was going and I was too lazy to get up and shut the bedroom door; I should have, but didn't. So what after seemed like a short nap in bed, my alarm went off and thus began the day that seemed to last 100 hours...Saturday.

After showering, blow-drying, and flat-ironing my hair (not to mention getting dressed and figuring out what I was going to wear that night) I dropped off my dry-cleaning and arrived at the shower sight. Set up a bit, laughed a lot...and then people started arriving. After eating and schmoozing, we played some games and then the shower was over. We had to go find a bridesmaid dress for them for our wedding, so the girls and I schlepped to I Do, I Do...which was a definite DON'T! They were so rude and nasty, and I'm so happy I didn't end up getting my dress there. And it turns out, apparently, that they had sold the very dress I had wanted to see in person before we got there. So off we went to Azteca Wedding Plaza, where they proceeded to try on 37 different varieties of bridesmaid dresses. I must admit, watching them try on so many dresses was amazingly fun, and we all got a really good laugh out of the whole experience. Not to mention the fact this place doesn't have air conditioning - just a swamp cooler...which made the experience that much more priceless. Some prettier, some fugly. Towards to end when I was getting frantic (this place closed at 4 and it was about 3:40) we found a dress. Yeehaw!! Not sure what color yet, though. So I may go look at the color swatches of that and figure it out.

On the way to drop Miriam off at her parents' house we stopped at where our ceremony & reception is going to be and I showed the girls around. That was definitely fun.

We went back to where Lindsey was staying and hung out for awhile, showered and got ready for dinner - at PF Changs. That was super yummy - appetizer and all. From there it was a short drive to Devil's Martini in Old Scottsdale.

...The reason I like Devil's Martini so much is that one night, back in the day, when I was pretending to be in college (i.e. dating Jarred) is that we ended up at the Devil's Martini on Scottsdale and Shea. I had a couple of drinks and got really drunk, and he ended up having to ask his brother to come and get him at my house after he drove me home. Anyway, I had a really good time that night and have positive memories associated with that bar - so let's get back to Lindsey's bachelorette party...

By now you've gotta know that my tolerance (or lack thereof) of alcohol is legendary amongst my friends. And the three of us (plus Jacqueline) hadn't been out together like this since our college days. Because I get tipsy about a quarter of the way into my first drink, not only am I the cheapest date !ever! but it's entertaining to watch me (try and) dance. There's something about drinking that let's me totally lose my inhibitions. Coupled with the fact that I just needed to let loose and it was an excellent recipe for me to relax. Needless to say, I first had a sex on the beach and then a fuzzy navel and I was drunkity drunk drunk.

I was instructed not to give out any other information on the party, which is why although it was Lindsey's party, I went on and on...about me. Sorry, Dave! This part of the post will self-destruct in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Kablooey! (Homage to Inspector Gadget -- what a great cartoon!)

Thus ended the drinking portion of our evening. After dropping Miriam off, we went back to Jacqueline's house and crashed. Where I took another nap and woke up around 8 am.

Drove home (lovely hangover it was) and went back to sleep. Did a second load of laundry and made cake and brownies for the Superbowl party the pilot and I were attending, and there you have my girls' weekend.

conundrum of the day

2006-02-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

Why is it so easy to think of what to blog about in the car but almost impossible to bring that topic up again while you're in front of a computer?

grumpy

2006-02-02T14:21:00.000-07:00

I'm in a bad mood. Excerberated from planning the stinkin' wedding. I think the thing I hate the most about planning is that it's never done, really. And how do you know you're making the best choice with the resources you have?

Plus, I really upset one of my oldest, bestest friends last night and I don't know what to do. So I did what any bride would do - I blamed the groom. Who really isn't to blame, but I need a scapegoat and he's the closest thing I have.

So I've been grumpy and just in a generally pissy mood all day today. I can't wait until tomorrow so I can spend some time with Lindsey.

I used to think it would be fun to be a wedding planner. I've changed my mind; being a wedding planner, or a coordinator, would suck.

If anyone in Phoenix is reading this, could you please either give me the names of any good photographers or florists? And for anyone else, any wedding planning advice you could give would be tremendously appreciated.

I'm off to go sulk in the corner.

girl time

2006-02-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Lindsey's shower. It seems like Jacqueline, Miriam and I have been planning for ages and I'm getting super duper excited. Lindsey is driving down with some of her family on Friday day and we are going to dinner that night - she's hoping Bisonwiches, I'm hoping for some good girl time. Miriam arrives that night and the shower is Saturday morning. We're going to look for the dresses I want my bridesmaids to wear that afternoon and that evening is her bachelorette party. We have decided to go to Old Scottsdale as opposed to Tempe - and I think a night out drinking with the girls is exactly what I need!

Since Miriam and I are getting married about seven weeks apart, we are getting things done approximately at the same time. It's great because we have someone to bitch to when things aren't going our way. This week it's the registry and dealing with our mom's.

We did register and had a lot of fun with it...not nearly done, we have two other stores to hit. It doesn't really help that we don't know where we'll be living; my lease is up at the end of July and he'll be moving in with me after his condo sells.

The way this year is going to work, in terms of planning, goes as follows:
Quarter 1: preparing for Lindsey's wedding, calming Miriam down and planning our wedding.
Quarter 2: House hunting and planning the wedding
Quarter 3: Moving into said new house and planning the wedding; throwing Miriam a shower and/or bachelorette party
Quarter 4: Finalizing wedding details, getting married, settling into a completely different lifestyle. Honeymooning, being able to (finally) take a deep breath and relax.

Having your best friends live in competely different places doesn't really help much, but I'm happy with what friends I do have in Phoenix and the life we seem to be building. And it makes weekends like this upcoming one, even more special. I can't wait!

a refocus on...what? a shiny object?

2006-01-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

In looking over the blog the last while or so, I've realized I really haven't had a coherent post...no stories, or anecdotes...just a bunch of thoughts put in no particular order. So I think what I'm going to try to do is write a story, from start to finish, that I can post and be proud of.

From The West Wing: "did you take an awkward pill?".

I began watching it last year, at the beginning of the 7th season. Most of you have no idea how rare it is for me to begin watching a show that's already begun and well into its first run. I usually watch the show when it first premiers, and stick to it through shitty timeslots (Scrubs), a revolving cast of characters that no one really cares about (ER comes to mind), or any number of things that can doom a show that used to be well written and well acted. I have gotten quite addicted to TWW; my problem is that we also watch Commander in Chief and half the time I think one show is the other show. Not to mention the fact that both adminstrataions on TWW and CiC seem so much more intelligent and better run than our government today.